We missed out on a lot during Kellisa's time in the NICU, but Lisa missed one of the moments that moms cherish and remember forever, getting discharged with their newborn. It wasn't the same, but a nurse wheeled Lisa out of the hospital with Kellisa on her lap. Even with the oxygen, monitors, and wires everywhere, it was a beautiful moment.
The one normal thing we did was order a large wooden stork
to be placed on our front lawn for Kellisa’s arrival. It was huge with a large
red heart painted with Kellisa’s name and date of birth. When we arrived home,
we took celebratory pictures of Kellisa with the stork in front of our house.
After the pictures, Lisa carried Kellisa through our front door for the first
time. Kellisa was home.
The house needed to be prepared in advance for
Kellisa’s homecoming. Since she came home on oxygen, we needed a large oxygen
cylinder placed in the center of our house with tubing that could reach the
farthest corners. This would allow Kellisa to remain hooked up to one main
cylinder. We had small portable canisters to use when leaving the house. We
placed a basinet at the foot of our bed. Kellisa’s monitors could hang from the
outside of the basinet guaranteeing we would hear any alarm during the night.
If she decided to stop breathing, we could easily flick her tiny foot and snap
he back.
We were told to contact the utilities companies
which we did before Kellisa got home. This was done to guarantee continued
electricity, gas, and water in case of an outage. We also contacted the village
we lived in to let them know about Kellisa. This would give police and fire
advanced information in case of an emergency. We were also given information on
our local shelters that could handle Kellisa in case we needed to evacuate.
It was impossible to settle in to any kind of normal
routine. Even though Kellisa was stable enough to be released from the
hospital, she was still attached to the oxygen and monitors with Lisa and me as
her source of first responders. The excessive responsibility was a burden at
times.
In addition, Kellisa needed to be seen by all the
same specialists she was seeing in the hospital. This meant a 70 mile round
trip drive through Chicago traffic multiple times a week with a baby attached
to heavy oxygen cylinders and wired to bulky monitors that needed to be fully
charged for the trips.
We were also in a race against the seasons. My new
job wanted us to relocate to Florida. We had mixed feelings about accepting the
offer, but it became an easy decision once the doctors in the NICU told us it
would be the best thing for Kellisa’s health. Kellisa’s lung tissue was still
damaged from her birth and preemies like her usually get pneumonia during
winters in Chicago. Kellisa was not in a position to take on pneumonia with
odds in her favor. The doctor told us to expect pneumonia every year if we
stayed.
Doctors were watching Kellisa’s eyes closely because
like a lot of preemie, she had Retinopathy of Prematurity (ROP). Low weight
preemies are at risk to develop ROP due to the oxygen therapy received in the
NICU to treat underdeveloped lungs. Like everything else we would learn, ROP
can be mild to significant. The main issue is disorganized growth of retinal
blood vessels. Milder cases may resolve without intervention. More serious
cases can lead to retinal detachment and blindness.
Lisa was home alone
with Kellisa when she noticed Kellisa’s soft spot bulging. We were used to the
soft spot sinking in a little since the shunt was placed a month earlier. Something
wasn’t right. I met Lisa at the emergency room where I was horrified to see
Kellisa’s head which resembled a Conehead. After a few tests, it was determined
that her shunt was malfunctioning. We quickly learned that emergency shunt
replacement surgery is the only option when a placed shunt is malfunctioning.
Our routine of kissing
Kellisa goodbye just before she was wheeled off for surgery continued for the
third time in her short four months of life. We were at the same hospital, but
because Kellisa was not in the NICU anymore, she was taken to a different
operating room.
I gained over 20 pounds
while Kellisa was in the NICU and hoped we were done eating hospital food.
After another meal together in the cafeteria, we returned to the family waiting
area. It was impossible to read a book, watch TV, or even have a conversation
with Lisa. Kellisa’s shunt malfunction was uncharted territory. All I could do
was worry.
Kellisa’s neurosurgeon
emerged in his scrubs and told us how great the surgery went. He had to replace
the entire shunt and tubing. Kellisa was in a post operation room and we were
allowed to go back to see her. She was still asleep with her head heavily
bandaged. Kellisa woke up a couple of hours later.
Several tests verified
the new shunt was working and Kellisa was discharged just a couple of days
after her second brain surgery. We were taking Kellisa to the eye doctor once a
week, her eyes needed to be followed that closely. The ophthalmologist was
balancing a difficult decision as he weighed the risks of another surgery
versus waiting as long as possible to see if her ROP corrected itself. The
doctor didn’t want to subject Kellisa to another surgery unless absolutely
necessary. However, waiting too long if her eyes didn’t self-correct could lead
to blindness.
Our move to Florida was
weighing heavily as we tried to organize and pack. We needed to move before
winter hit, but we also felt strongly about letting Kellisa’s ROP play out with
her doctor in Chicago. We didn’t want to risk losing valuable time trying to
find a new doctor and even if we did, how long would it take to be seen by someone
who didn’t know Kellisa. My new company was patient, yet eager to have us in
Florida.
A couple of weeks
passed since the shunt surgery when Kellisa’s soft spot began bulging again. We
knew the routine as we returned to the emergency room. A CAT scan revealed
kinked tubing which was causing the buildup of fluids inside Kellisa’s brain.
Within a couple of hours, we were kissing Kellisa goodbye as she headed off for
her third brain surgery in as many months. Kellisa’s entire shunt and tubing
needed to be replaced. Again, she did well during and after the surgery.
Kellisa was back home after recovering for a couple of days in the hospital.
At another eye doctor
appointment the week after Kellisa’s latest shunt revision, we were told it was
time for eye surgery or Kellisa would go blind. The next day we were kissing
Kellisa goodbye before her 5th surgery before she was even 5 months
old.
The doctor explained
the surgery to us. He would use a laser on the extra retinal blood vessels to
stop their growth. The doctor declared the surgery a success when he consulted
us in the waiting room. Kellisa spent another couple of days in the hospital
recovering.
It was late October and
we were eager to get Kellisa moved to Florida. It appeared that all of her
immediate medical concerns were addressed and she would be stable enough for
the move.
But first, Kellisa
celebrated her first Halloween. Lisa decided Kellisa would turn the tables and
dress Kellisa up as a doctor. Lisa wore scrubs to be an RN and that left me to
play the role of a patient and judging by the picture, I apparently had some
kind of eye infection going on.
As we were becoming
quite aware, nothing with Kellisa was predictable. Before we could move,
Kellisa had a urinary tract infection. Because her medical condition was still
so fragile, this required a hospital stay of another couple of days until the
infection was treated.
It was now the middle
of mild November, but we were definitely feeling the pressure to move. One
morning, Lisa could tell that Kellisa wasn’t herself. Even though her soft spot
appeared normal, we feared another shunt malfunction. Lisa called Kellisa’s
pediatrician who recommended a trip to the emergency room.
After the usual tests,
it was determined that Kellisa had Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV). It was
usually a mild virus for healthy adults, but extremely serious for babies with
Kellisa’s medical history. The doctors treated the virus aggressively.
Kellisa’s RSV was followed closely by her pediatrician for a couple of weeks.
Finally, in the late
afternoon hours on Friday, December 5th when Kellisa’s doctor
declared her healthy and stable enough to move to Florida.
We left for Florida the
following morning. Our little two door hatchback was packed with Kellisa’s
necessities. We had a weeks’ worth of portable oxygen cylinders, her monitors,
all her clothes, and the bassinet. Backing was easy; we didn’t have much room
for anything else, but found a way to stuff a few basic kitchen items and some
of our clothes in every little nook in the car. It would be 6 weeks before the
rest of our possessions joined us in Florida
We made the drive from
Chicago to Edgewater, FL the first weekend of December. Thankfully, we made it
out of Illinois before the first freeze and snow fall. While a little cramped
for a 1,100 mile drive and a little slow due to baby feedings and diaper
changes, the drive was going as planned until we encountered an extremely rare
early winter in northern Georgia.
Facing white out
conditions, we were considering pulling over to get a hotel room even though it
was only 4pm when the driver’s side rear tire blew out. Thankfully, I didn’t
lose control on the icy pavement and was able to guide the car to the shoulder.
I think we had a couple of angels watching over us.
Lisa was afraid to wait
in the car with Kellisa while I changed the tire, so she flung the oxygen over
her shoulder and placed Kellisa inside her jacket before walking through the
snow drifts to try and find shelter from the wind inside a thin grove of trees.
I had to empty all of our possessions onto the shoulder to get to the spare
tire and jack under our trunk. I didn’t want to ruin everything, so I placed it
back in the car while I changed the tire.
Between the bitter cold and the fact that our new
tires were professionally placed o few weeks prior, I was unable to budge a single
lug nut. As I struggled, snow blind drivers were racing past just inches from
my body. It was hard concentrating knowing Lisa and Kellisa were left alone to
fight this blizzard. To my surprise, not a single vehicle stopped to help, including
the two highway patrol cars.
I was defeated. I found Lisa huddling over Kellisa
and explained our situation. I thought I remembered passing an exit a mile or
two back. My plan was to walk back together to find some kind of shelter for
Lisa and Kellisa while I got help to change the tire. After an hour of walking
through this storm, we finally arrived at the exit.
We were in the middle of nowhere, but this exit had
a small restaurant and a gas station. Our first priority was to get Kellisa
warm at the restaurant. I explained our situation to the lady behind the
counter and asked of Lisa and Kellisa could stay inside until I came back.
“They can stay as long as they buy something,” was the response.
Out of choices, Lisa stayed and bought a light meal
for herself. I left them for the gas station with the promise of returning as
soon as possible. I walked across the highway to the gas station.
Unfortunately, it did not have a service department or tow truck. The guy
working the counter only offered one comment, “It’s after 5pm on a Sunday in
rural Georgia, you’ll have to wait until tomorrow to find help”.
The exit didn’t have a hotel; we didn’t have a cell
phone and didn’t know anyone for 600 miles. I started walking back to with the
hope that something magical would have happened since I was last there and I
would now be able to change the tire or maybe someone would stop to help this
time.
I was all the way down the on ramp to the expressway when a light bulb went off in my head. I turned around to run back to the gas station. I burst through the door and asked the attendant if he sold WD-40. He did and he pointed me towards the last bottle on the shelf which I gladly purchased with the hope that it would be all the help I needed.
I jogged back to the car with my new found
excitement, opened the WD-40 and sprayed the first lug nut. I gave the lug nut
wrench a good push down and nearly fell over it moved so freely. I repeated
this process four more times and had the tire changed in no time.
I had to pull all of our things back out of the
trunk to place the flat tire and jack in there spots. As I was loading our
stuff back inside, I saw red lights illuminate the inside of our car. I looked
back to see a sheriff’s deputy pulling up behind me. He approached the car as I
finished loading. I saw him glance at the contents of the car as he asked if I
needed any help. I wanted to ask him where he was two hours ago when I needed
his help, but I declined his help since the tire was changed and thanked him
for stopping.
The deputy recommended getting the tire fixed or
replaced before continuing our journey and even suggested a shop that he knew
would still be open in the nearest town of any size. I circled back to get Lisa
and Kellisa. It was a great relief to pull up to the restaurant and find them
still inside. Not wanting to risk getting stranded overnight somewhere in the
blizzard, we followed the deputy’s directions to the tire shop. Our tire was
not fixable, but they had one tire in stock of the same size which we purchased.

We knew people were staring at Kellisa, but no one
ever said anything to us until one day when Lisa was holding Kellisa and her
oxygen in a line at a retail store. The lady behind us asked, “What’s wrong
with it?”
We were never embarrassed by Kellisa and took her
everywhere we went. The “lady’s” comment caught us by surprise and the shock
prevented us from answering. All we could do was give her a look of disbelief
before paying for our things and leaving. Later, we debated the best come backs
for the next time we encountered such a rude and insulting comment.

Kellisa always slept at the foot of our bed, so we
spent Christmas Eve night in Kellisa’s bedroom in our house. The three of us
slept on the floor waiting to see if Santa Claus knew where to deliver presents
for Kellisa. Santa came and left all kinds of educational toys for Kellisa.
This was the only night Kellisa would spend in the
room that we decorated and furnished for her and Kirsten.
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