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| Laurel working on fractions |
I'm very fortunate that I work from home when I'm not traveling and since I usually don't travel out on Mondays (Conference Calls), today was like any other with a few exceptions. First, my anxiety is through the roof and second, Kellisa and Laurel were home. Fortunately, this happens fairly often for school holidays and summer vacation, so the kids are used to me working from the kitchen table and I'm used to some background noise and calls for help. When my phone rings, I grab it and run outside so I won't be distracted. I was worried about today because I was concerned about Laurel's anxiety and I knew Kellisa would be asking for her bus to take her to school. I was also worried about all the uncertainty in the world and how it will impact my career.
Laurel blew me away today. I could tell she was having some internal worries, but she stepped up and had a perfect day. She played a few video games after waking up, but then came down ready to do some school work. I was absorbed in the news and my work and snapped at her because I wasn't ready to help her. I immediately felt horrible and apologized many times. She even told me that she's moved on and not to worry about it. I still felt bad.
Laurel sat opposite of me at the kitchen table and worked on several math sheets we printed and she studied a new spelling words list and when I quizzed her, she was able to spell 8 out of the 8 new words. I couldn't have been more proud. Her behavior was also perfect. It can often be a challenge when she has her own anxiety, but she really stepped up today.
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| Kellisa watching The Wiggles |
I was still feeling bad and decided to join Laurel in the living room to watch some of her YouTube videos. We watched everything from make-up tutorials to people getting, let's just say unique ear piercings.
Hopefully, I learned my lesson that this is very hard on Laurel and I need to step it up myself to set a calm example.
Kellisa, to my surprise didn't ask for the bus this morning, so she probably thought it was just another weekend day. She stayed in her room all day watching The Wiggles and Hannah Montana while reading her creepy crawly books.
Since Kellisa is at the greatest risk, we are keeping her in her room and only going in to take care of her needs which includes pushing a few buttons every time she needs a new video. We also bring her food and give the tube feedings in bed.
Even though it was a work day, I was still hoping to get outside for lunch or after work, but for the third day in a row, it was a miserable day outside filled with rain, wind, and cold.
I really hope we turn the corner tomorrow....in more ways than one.
